I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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