Already got asked if we're dating
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize