I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
