Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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