he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
