Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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