ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
