I don't think brook has ever known best
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
