LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
