I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
