he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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