My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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