i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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