Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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