Do vagina's smell?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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