I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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