Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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