he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
