I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
