He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize