R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
