If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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