But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
