You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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