MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
