So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
