He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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