Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
