so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize