1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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