You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
