His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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