Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
