sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
