I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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