The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
