Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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