he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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