I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
