He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
