is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
