he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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