I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
