The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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