i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
