I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
