i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
