guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
