You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
