Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
