i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Randomize
