Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize