She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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