Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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