i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
