It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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