she was so not down for the gang bang
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
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