I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize