Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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