It's Friday. Sex?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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