you would pick up someone in the library
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
