just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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