Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
