Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Is Oprah even human
Randomize
