I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
