I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
