I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
