hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
