So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize