Define "chronic" masturbator.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
