Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
not ubering you a puppy
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
