Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Someone shit on the floor
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I've blown a few things in my day
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
