I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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