You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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